History Unravels
by yougonnapayforthatmango
Summary: Life is constantly changing, moving all around us. When Clary learns this lesson, she has to do the right thing; even if it means leaving the one she loves to better the future of something unexpected.
1. Growing Up

I never thought of myself as a mother. I had always seen myself as the type of woman who didn't need much to feel complete. Who didn't need marry and have a family to feel accomplished. There wasn't really an choice now as I looked back at the pills I was supposed to take days before. I tried to calm down; to remind myself that maybe I wasn't pregnant. That maybe none of this was happening.

It didn't work.

Did Jace even _want _to have children? Would his love for me last through this? At least he didn't have to worry about being the last Herondale; because there was a great chance the last one was inside me now. Thoughts of raising a baby rushed through me. _Don't think of it as a baby Clary._ I imagined if it was a girl or boy. Would it have my green eyes or Jace's golden? Would they be short like me? _Stop it! _My phone buzzed in my pocket, reminding me at the passage of time. With shaking hands, I grabbed the small device and swiped the cold screen.

"Clary?" I heard the familiar voice ask. My heart rate quickened at the tone of concern in it.

"Uh, hey." I mumbled to the device.

"Where are you? Remember we were supposed get lunch together?" He laughed on the phone.

"Oh, I forgot! I'll see you at the diner." I stuttered. I thought for a moment..." Jace, we need to talk." I softly spoke to the phone.

"Sure. Are you okay?" He asked with concern.

"I think I found out why I was sick is all." I responded distantly.

"Great! I'll see you at the diner! I love you-" He spoke before I hung up the phone; worried that I might just tell him over the phone. I reached for the box that rest on the sink, worried to continue this part of my expedition. I fumbled with the button on my jeans and sat down on the toilet, tearing open the box as I sat still. I took in a big breath as I relieved myself. _Sixteen and pregnant. _I removed my hands from the crevice between my thighs and focused my eyes on the digital words.

_Shit._

I felt so distant in that moment. That the old Clary had evaporated in those moments. I slowly gathered myself and washed my hands. I felt numb, the warmth of the jacket I slid on doing nothing for me. I reached for the metallic shine that was my keys and walked to the door. I could do this. My parents had money; plenty. Luke and Mom would be frustrated at first, but they would never force me to do anything I didn't consent to. I could move back in with them instead of living at the institute like they had wanted me to. Guess my educational path was going to change if I couldn't count on Jace. I could pay for daycare and get homeschooled until I was ready to go to college. I could do this. Could I do this with Jace? Would he want to? It's not like he was any less wealthy than me. We had both grown up in the same high class families. While money was not limited, would his love be?

* * *

><p>I stared at Jace as he awkwardly stirred his soup that he had ordered. I wasn't feeling to peckish, so I settled for some coffee. Could I even have coffee now? Better not risk it. I slid the full mug away from me, eyeing it as if it were the poison that would harm me and my baby. Hopefully our baby. I watched as a waitress came yet again, offering us any service. I knew she just wanted to hit on Jace as she only made eye contact with him. That was a downside of dating him. It was as if I wasn't dating him, but sharing him with other people. I wanted him to be mine and mine only, but that was not my choice to make. Could I take him away from the life he enjoyed. I knew that he loved me, but could he give up the life he was so used to?<p>

"So what did you want to talk about?" Jace said while gazing at me with his warm, golden eyes. I stared back at him, remembering him for the man that loved me and not the man that left me. I was sure he would disagree with my choice to keep our baby. The baby he didn't even know about.

"Do you think we'll ever date past high school?" I asked him. He seemed a little taken aback as I assessed him.

"I've never thought about it... I didn't really think of a time when I wouldn't have you." He teased. Not good. He couldn't even answer this seriously! Why couldn't he just let me in for _once? _

"Oh." I mumbled as I stirred my spoon in the coffee I didn't desire.

"Oh?" He said while raising his brow.

"I was just wondering." I softly spoke to my mug. My other hand was protectively lying on my abdomen, fearing that my miracle would be taken away from me. I froze in place as I notice that Jace was eyeing my palm.

"Do you need medicine?" He asked while eyeing my stomach. I let out a sigh of relief as he didn't suspect anything unusual.

"I think this is more of a thing that you have to let run it's course." I spoke, my innuendo not being known to him. Of course he wouldn't notice.

"Are we okay?" He asked.

"Why do you ask?" I responded.

"You seem distant is all." He mumbled under his breath. I felt uncomfortable, trying to think of a way to approach the subject of the baby. I needed to calm down a little bit.

"I'm going to use the bathroom." I excused as I slid out of the booth. The boots that I was wearing were clicking against the hard tile as I meandered my way to the restrooms. Maybe if I could calm down this would would be easier. When I entered the bathroom, I gazed at myself in the mirror. My red hair was curling around my pale face, clashing violently. My green eyes looked wary as I eyed my stomach. This shouldn't be so hard, and yet I would rather pull teeth out then tell him myself. After taking in lungfuls of air, I turned and made my way for the booth.

I was stopped in my journey when I saw Jace flirting with the waitress. He didn't seem to halter as he gazed at her with desire. I shouldn't have gotten so angry, but I was. Her hand was resting against his on the table. The were laughing at some joke that he had said; her cheeks blushing with admiration. _Was he complimenting her? _I made up my mind in that moment. I needed someone that I could trust. I needed someone who wouldn't do this the moment I left the room. I needed a man.

I reached for the phone that rested in my pocket. If I couldn't trust him, then I had to find someone that I could. I listened to the dial tone for a few seconds before someone finally picked up.

"Mom, I think I'm ready to move in with you and Luke.

"Are you sure honey? Arizona is _pretty _boring.." She said with doubt, but I could hear the tone of anticipation in her voice.

"Yeah Mom, I'm sure." I said with certainty.

"Why now though sweety?" She asked with confusion.

"Just want to see you guys again. I want catch up." I lied as I held the phone to my cheek.

"Okay then, do you need us to arrange the plane for you?" She asked.

"Sure, can I leave maybe in the next hour or so?" I asked impatiently.

"Yeah, that's fine Clary!" My mom chirped with excitement as she hung up the phone. I knew that staying with my parents wasn't a real solution. I would need to move out as soon as I finished high school. I would need to start my life up. I needed to leave this old life; starting with him. My feet trudged over to the booth that the waitress was no longer at. Jace smiled up at me, stirring nausea in my stomach.

"You okay?" He asked me. I looked out the large windows of the diner, trying to distract myself. This was going to be one of the toughest things I will have to do. I've never had to do something like this, but if it meant my baby would be better off, then so be it. My right hand fumbled at the band that wound across the finger on my left.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I whispered to him as I slid off the promise ring he had given me. Jace's eyes grew wide as he watched the beautiful silver leave my hand. I felt the large H that stood out on it press lightly against my fingertips as I rested the ring on the table. I took in sharp breaths as I tried to remain calm. I fought back tears as I continued my act of independence.

"No, please don't do this Clary." He said as he tried to force the back into my possession. I shook my head at him and darted for the doors of the diner. _Be strong_. I was almost done. I just had to get away from him. I just had to get back into my car and then I wouldn't have to see him anymore. I small feet darted across the pavement to my car. I was suddenly jolted to a stop as an iron grip held me in place. I turned around to see my angel. His golden eyes were tinted red as he pouted his lips at me. I turned away from his gaze and struggled against his grip.

"Jace, stop." I whispered as I tried to march away from him.

"I love you so much Clary. I can't do this without you!" He cried as I still refused to look at him. I knew he would never leave me if he knew that my feelings for him were still raw.

"I can't say the same Jace." I said coldly, not looking at his face. I could hear the sobs that came from him.

"You can't mean that! From the moment we met each other, we were in love!" He argued.

"_In love. _I just love the idea of you. I was lonely and you were there. There are plenty of girls out there who would gladly give you that love Jace, but I can't. I just can't." I breathed, looking down at the pavement.

"Why are you doing this!?" He sobbed as I managed to step away from him. Lead ran through my veins as I struggled to remain independent.

"I need a man, Jace! I need someone that I can count on! I don't want someone that I can't even manage to get along with! We are two _very _different people!" I pleaded to him as I continued to walk away, my car coming into view. My chest felt constricted, as if it refused to allow me to say anymore.

"I'll be that man for you! I'll be anything for you! I don't care how different we are Clarissa, I love you!" He shouted as I walked up to my car. I looked at my reflection; my eyes were dry, and I bore a pained expression. I pulled on the door handle and sat inside the car. The engine thrummed to life as my keys awakened it. I took another deep breath as I steadied my hands on the wheel. I didn't care if he love me, I love my baby more. He wouldn't, couldn't, change for anyone, and thats what hurt. I knew he wanted to though, but trying is different from proving to me otherwise.

It almost pained me when I drove back to the institute, to realize what had taken place. At least I would finally see my friends back at home. Isabelle would be so happy to see me, but a little sad that my relationship with her adopted brother hadn't ended well. Simon and her would help me through this though. It would hurt to see them together, what with the love they possessed. It was going to hurt for a while, but I would manage.

I would be strong.


	2. Plans

"Clary, you need to talk to my brother before I get a call from the phone company!" Isabelle moaned in frustration as she looked at all the constant buzzing of her phone. "He's coming by the way." She softly said with pity. My head snapped up from my pillow as I looked at her. Great, that's all I need is to see him.

"He can't see me like this!" I groaned as pointed to the now visible bump on my stomach. When I had gotten home, I told my mother and Luke everything. They were patient with my revelation, and understood how I didn't want Jace finding out. It's not like I needed any child support. My mother said that she was proud of me for being so independent, how she had to do the same when she was pregnant with me. Like mother like daughter. My brother Jonathan offered to take me traveling to distract me. I allowed myself to study abroad with him for a couple of months, hoping to miss Jace as he attempted to visit. While the pregnancy progressed, I had learned I was having a girl, and surprisingly two boys. I was absolutely absorbed by the wave of maternal instinct that took me over. I was going to love these babies so much, no matter how difficult it got. It's not everyday that you realize you're going to have triplets after you just turned seventeen.

"So you're still not going to tell him?" She asked without the slightest anger. I loved how she understood me so well.

"No, if he found out, I just can't deal with that Izzy." I explained. She nodded her head and continued to eat the chips she had grabbed from the kitchen. I rest my hand against my stomach, feeling the multiple kicks against my soft skin.

"I need to take you maternity shopping!" She squealed out in the open. I laughed at her desire to constantly take me shopping. I didn't dress to poorly.

"I'll let you get me some clothes while I go shopping for car seats." I offered.

"Deal!" She squealed with delight. I rolled my eyes as I pulled a candy bar from my night stand. I was a little surprised that my metabolism was able to keep up with the cravings. I hadn't really been to the gym lately...

"How does the name Lana sound?" I asked her from my bed.

"Pretty, is that what you're going to name her?" She asked. I could see the small smile spreading to her face as she waited for an answer.

"Yeah. I was thinking for the boys.. I don't really know yet." I frowned in frustration.

"Well how about Gideon for one, considering he _is _my nephew. Maybe Mason for my other nephew?" She said with a raised eyebrow. They both sounded beautiful.

"That sounds great!" I exclaimed.

"How are you going to explain the kids to Jace when he finds out that you're a mom?" She asked me.

"Well, I was hoping to avoid him for a couple years and then by the time he finds out, they'll be close to my age." I shrugged.

"Oh." She said with a sharp nod.

"I hope they don't look _too _much like him." I said with concern.

"It would be okay with the blond hair, but if they had his eyes, he would know." She expressed her thoughts.

"Contacts." I said. Her confusion cleared and

"So how are you going to hide yourself now though?" Isabelle asked. I felt a twinge of fear as I considered the slim chance of not seeing him. I could say that I cheated on him. With everything I said to him, this might not be so hard to believe. Maybe I could just say that I had gained weight. It seemed possible with the bump that spread evenly around my stomach; unless he felt the solidity of it.

"Weight gain." I answered. She dropped the subject.

"I think I should visit him, maybe consider this." I thought outloud.

* * *

><p>My heart was racing as I pulled into Jace's apartment. The keys he had left me shone in my hand, giving off light. I turned the key in the lock and was surprised to find that most of the lights were off, except I could notice the bedroom lights were glowing under the door. I squinted at the small objects that lay scattered on the floor. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and the dim light it gave off in the living room. I made a small gasp as I noticed the objects were clothes, and not just his, but a women's. They made a small trail to his bedroom. I pressed my ear to the door and heart grunts and moans being made in the room. He moaned something like <em>you feel so good<em> and I all but charged in there.

I swallowed hard, walking back to the kitchen and took the keys back out of my pocket and set them on the counter. I grabbed a spare pen from a mug and reached for a blank piece of paper. I fought back heavy tears as I made my hand move against the rough sheet. I had never felt pain like this. This pain of abandonment. The compression in my chest was different from the time I had left him. We both loved each other, our love was dead now. My handwriting was sloppy and distorted.

_Came to see you, here's your keys-C_

This anger that I felt, it was new. It was the pain of caring too much that was killing me. When my footsteps left the porch, I started to sob. This was my fault, I had told him it was over; what did I expect? It's one thing to suspect that someone wouldn't love you forever, it hurts even more to actually see it. To see that he was over me was a pain I wasn't ready to see. All the times he had flirted with other girls, at least he was mine. It hurt to know that everything that he was doing was okay, because it wasn't cheating. He was a single man getting back in the dating scene. I understood why women in movies cried whenever the boy they desired had moved on. I always had considered them weak, but now that it was me, I realized that the tears they showed were only a mere fraction of the pain that consumed them. This pain was that of my world crashing down on me. The feeling of hopelessness.

I tried my hardest to stop the sobs that shook my frame, it was impossible. My heart was in pieces as I left him yet again, accept this time he wasn't the one that was crying; I was. I felt so stupid and angry at him all at the same time. No, this wasn't going to destroy me, I had a family to look after. I was going to be a mom, now I needed to start acting like the mature woman my babies needed me to be. I needed to learn how to manage with the pain of rejection, because this wasn't going to be the only time I got my heart broken. Focusing on the babies was going to save me.

* * *

><p>"How did it go?" Isabelle asked with excitement. <em>Stay strong Clary. <em>I gave her a fake smile as I tried to think of something to say.

"He wasn't there, so I just left my keys in the house." I explained with a voice that hid the broken heart I had gained. Short breaths escaped my nose as I fought the burning in my throat. The clawing feeling in my chest that wanted to wail to her about how distraught I was. If I told her, there would be no restraint on the tears I held back. It took all my strength to keep my eyes dry and my smile wide.

"Sorry." She whispered. I flashed her an apologetic smile and resumed to go to my room. If I could survive this week, then Jonathan and could travel. Isabelle thought that when Jonathan and I traveled, that we were just having fun, but instead we were looking at houses for me. If I told Isabelle about the moving plan, she would kill me. Jonathan had planned to stay with me for a little while after I had the kids, and then he would leave me to go back home. Last time we had travelled, we had purchased a house in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Jonathan said that when I neared the end of my pregnancy, I could start living in there. We had bought furniture for the house and equipped it with a burglar alarm and a playground. If Jace was planning to see me again when I moved, he was going to have a hard time finding me. I had no criminal record and it wasn't as if I was going to be posting about the house. I planned on becoming a teacher when I got my high school diploma. My parents were a little down about the idea of seeing me less, but were proud of me for getting back on my feet. I told them that they could visit me whenever once I moved out. I couldn't tell Isabelle where I lived because I had to debate whether she would tell Jace about where I had moved.

I ran my hand over my stomach, feeling the presence of my babies. A year ago, I would have never imagined I would be in this situation. I had always thought I would stay with Jace and later we would get married. I thought that I could deal with the constant flirting he did with other girls. I thought that I could deal with the constant looks of jealousy I received. I thought I could deal with recurring let downs and rescheduled dates. I couldn't. I couldn't deal with the fear of waiting for him to stop caring and leave me drowning in the waters of betrayal. These babies were going to be my fresh start. I was going to love them more than I loved anything. More than I had loved their father. The tingle in my chest I got from thinking about them already proved that my maternal instinct would be strong. It was already powerful enough to make me leave Jace. To make me grow up.

I hope that my children wouldn't be like me. That they wouldn't be in search of love wherever they wondered. I wanted them to be strong and independent. They were going to show me how great of a choice I made to leave Jace. I was going to make it through all the dirty diapers and tantrums; through all the late night fevers and calls from the school. I aimed to be a mother like me own. She was strong to have left my father with Jonathan and raise me on her own. I didn't know if I would find love again like her though. Their love was different than that of teenagers. It was eternal instead of passionate and heated. Their souls were intertwined instead of promised to each other. It seemed like a once in a lifetime type love.

I had yet to decide whether I had already gotten that love.


End file.
